Jamie Oliver’s Twist: Restarant Review

Quote

“Please Sir Can I Have Some More?…”

Left Hungry, bill in my hand, palate unsatisfied and wallet a little lighter than the night before was the conclusion.  Jamie how can you have gone so wrong? The first time I saw Jamie on TV, I was most intrigued, though baffled every time he picked up the oil bottle to say “just a little drizzle on top” 2 minutes later he puts it down. Hmm.. My drizzle calculations may be off, but I’m sure even Snoop Dogg would agree when I say “he’d be making it rain with oil”. Meaning a thorough drench.

A friend, who’d recently gained another years notch to his bed post, was lured to the venue.  The idea was simple, much like Jamie’s recipes, enjoy a nice meal and catch up in the truest of no boundaries manners. No topic was ruled off, for the nights conversation.  Spirits were high and joyous. And here’s were its all went to the scraps…

1. Waitress Alert; She heads towards the table, eyes glaring and smile hinged for her tip- “Hello guys, Ill bring you all some TAP water and here is our menu!” Hold up! Did you even ask if we’d like still or sparkling? Or did we look like “tap water” people? compliment or insult? Simple or cheap? hmm….
2. Birthday boy, polite lifts up the water glass placed on the table, with orange bits stuck inside and smudges. Asks the waitress “I’m sorry but may I get another glass”. Waitress’s million dollar answer “Oh there’s no need, its just scratches and perfectly clean. Do you still want me to change it?”. My friend appalled by her answer bit his tongue and remained silent. Which Waitress on this planet argues with changing dishes on request? Oh dear I wish I could say this was it…
3.  But wait there’s more! Along came Polly, no I wish.  Id like to take this point to emphasize a few things. All members of the rectangle table are healthy, fit, young and equipped with healthy appetites. Secondly when you order meat boards or “planks”  expectation for portions would be relatively high. To our horror and our stomach’s amusement, it’s equivalent held the same net weight as a tablespoon of honey. Ridiculous, a friend 6ft6″ in kindness remarked cleverly “Oh yes, this tasting sample was good, Ill have more of that for my starter please”. The Irony, doesn’t Mr Oliver preach about value for money and £5 meals? Ha!
   
4. My turn, Crab and Avocado Bruschetta, a nice Italian dish served like the old testament in all restaurants. It arrives, what appeared to be a burglar weapon, thing and long. I’ve had rock candy softer than this. My dental bill would have gone straight to Jamie. There was nothing sweet you could say about it. The taste? what taste? Celery has more flavor.
5. Wow, I’ve appeared to reach my fifth point already. My fingers are on fire. I am oozing disappointment. Main meals held no delight. Friends became tiresome of their dishes. They held little joy, a slab of meat on a plate with little else but a fried egg on one of the dishes- what a joke. The birthday boy further sinking in his seat. He had to order a extra side to entertain his taste buds.

He may be a good merchandiser, TV face and american school ball buster but he fails to serve our nation. Smart businessman, poor judge of character for hiring staff. But what would he care? He’s made his millions and sadly to say I’ve contributed to his wealth. So Jamie Oliver How do you plan to correct this?